What We Do
In a nutshell, we deliver bad news for you!
All we need is a little information about the recipient, and a recent picture of them,and we can drop the bomb instead of you!
Local services start at $50/hr, one hour minimum, includes travel.We will travel virtually anywhere for airfare and a per diem of $150.
Hazard pay for war torn regions.
A video of the act will be available for a fee.
Breaking up is never easy, we know.
50 ways to leave your lover? You only need one.
Let's face it, life is hard, and relationships are even harder. Nothing sucks the joy out of life more than having "the talk". So, let us do it for you. Our studies have shown that breakups are 100% effective when using our approach.
When you really need to fire someone.
Avoid disgruntled ex-employees entirely.
Sometimes, people just got to go. Imagine how unnerving it would be to have a singing gorilla give you the news? If that doesn't do it, we can put a tail on them for whatever period of time you'd like, and make sure that they don't come around. Key retrieval and last paycheck delivery included.
A-hole Landlord.
Wanna break your lease and make your crappy slumlord think twice about screwing you over?
There are lots of tenant laws, and we know how to talk about them. We will break your lease for you in the manner that is prescribed, and then we will follow up with the landlord, file orders, lawsuits, whatever you want, until the jerk just wants to be rid of you. Requires a retainer.
Make the Jump
You - Job = Freedom
There has never been a better time in the history of time than right now to have us quit your job for you.
How We Do It
Dancing Gorilla ~ Singing Telegram ~ Stripper Gram ~ Historical Figures
Whatever you want, we'll strive to deliver!*
Nothing says, "I quit",
like a Stripper Gram!
"Surprise, you're adopted!"
Special Occasions!
Workplace disputes
Annoying Guy.
Who We Are
We're on a mission to connect your cause to the people who matter the most.
Rich Phillips
Rich is a motivational speaker, mentalist, and ordained minister. His work has taken him all over Western Washington and into parts of Canada, California, and Kentucky. A frequent guest, Phillips manages to balance his work life with what he calls his personal life. Often called on to testify, he has never actually been charged with anything.
Jimmy Ulvenes
Ulvenes, a retired instructor and avid enthusiast, has taken part in numerous scientific and medical studies throughout the Puget Sound. In his off-hours, Ulvenes likes his leisure time. Throws left, bats right.
Who's Talking About Us
Take a look and enjoy!
Raconteur, Gabriel Van Jones
Author, Thaddeus Vogler
Connect With Us
Email
